A question that I get often from people is… Erika, how do you do it all??
I love this question! People think I do it all and I don’t. But I understand why people ask because I really do have my hands in a lot; as an investor, entrepreneur, homeschooling mother, and wife!
I really love the work that I do!! But what I’ve learned over the years is that I had to set hard boundaries and adjust how I show up for my family.
We talk a lot about using real estate to design a life of freedom. But designing my life also means examining how I want my relationship to be with my family, including my husband.
As partners in life, love, and business, we’ve had to learn new ways of communicating with each other. We’ve had those periods when things weren’t right in our relationship, but we didn’t have the vocabulary to talk about it. That’s why it’s so important to check in regularly with your spouse or partner!
That’s why I wanted to share 3 ways my husband and I work on our communication.
1. We don’t allow household responsibilities to tear us apart.I don’t know any couple who hasn’t had tension over the “C” word. We are no different. But what we’ve reached an agreement on, is that, if neither of us wants to wash the dishes, we’ll delegate it to someone else. If laundry is a problem and neither of us likes doing laundry, then we’re getting a laundry service. My husband and I decided that we’re not going to argue and be divided about small family responsibilities to the point where we don’t have enough energy for each other.
So, who does what?
I believe this has to do with having an abundant mindset. Together, we think about what we can do to bring more money in to pay for a laundry service, or what can we cut back to pay for it? Ultimately, we’re not going to sacrifice our relationship. We’re going to look at it from a different perspective and find a solution that works for everyone.
2. We set up check-ins.
For us, we’ve created a rhythm to foster those check-ins with each other. We workout together in the morning and then after we go for a 20 minute walk. This usually happens around 6:30am, when there are no children demanding our time. That’s our interrupted space to check in or flesh out a business strategy with each other, and it’s been super helpful for us!
3. We reset.
When couples argue, most of the time it doesn’t even have to do with the other person. It could be because someone is tired, hasn’t eaten, or is running late. Whatever the reason, when there’s tension, one of us will say, hey, can we reset? That lets us both know that we need to start over, and revisit the conversation when we’ve both gotten some rest, prayed, and are in a place where we can talk calmly with each other.
Healthy communication with your significant other is really about being open enough to listen and asking questions from a place of curiosity. That helps to understand the others point of view to ensure you’re on the same page.
Were these tips helpful? What strategies do you use to work on healthy communication with your spouse or partner?
These tips were definitely helpful. It is easy to take a supportive spouse for granted and leave him/her on the back burner because we’re so busy or so focused on financial goals. We must prioritize those important relationships by making and taking the time with your loved one. My husband and I try to be good listeners to each other, and also put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and connect with how they feel based on who they are, not who you are. Everyone has to eat! So we make it a point to sit at our dining table and have meals together (and talk)… it is quality time together.